Essay 1

Essay 1: In-Class: Read & Respond

Due Dates & Details:

This first in-class essay, on 09/14, is worth 5% of your overall grade; as the journey with this paper wages on, it will ultimately be perfected with time and grow to be worth 15%, meaning it's a very significant paper and should be approached as such. Shortly after taking the in-class exam, you will receive my comments and a grade and then be given time to peer review and edit your draft with the help of the tutors.

A writer's workshop will be hosted on 09/21; to participate, you must bring one hard copy of your completed, revised draft and have completed our revision chart (Don't worry! Details about this to follow).

Five days later, your final draft is due (09/26); this draft will again be commented on and graded and it will make up the remaining 10% of the assignment. On this draft, you will need to write and label at least: 

• 1 compound sentence that properly uses a semi-colon,
• 1 complex sentence properly using an AAWWUBBIS,
• 1 compound-complex sentence, 
• 1 appositive (example: Having a fixed mindset, an understanding that potential is set from birth and immutable, makes achieving success in college even harder than it already is.) 

Here is your prompt:

In a multi-paragraph (at least 4) thesis-centered essay, identify both what helped and hurt Kashawn Campbell (from “South LA Student Finds a Different World at Cal”) while he was a student at UC Berkeley. Draw upon at least one outside reading from our class to strengthen your argument (if you feel confident using direct quotations and blending them into your work, go ahead; otherwise, please paraphrase and summarize any evidence taken from our outside readings). Feel free to enhance your writing with personal experience, and use "I" as much as you'd like. Bear in mind, however, that "I" statements like "I  think this essay was about..." are different than "I can relate because..."

Tips for Success:

• Make sure to use an attention getter in your introduction paragraph,
• Definitions are not acceptable-- this technique reminds me of high school writing, but rhetorical questions, anecdotes, and quotations (as long as they're properly blended) are great strategies for "hooking" your reader,
• Example: YouTube sensation "Kid President" inspires millions to adopt a growth mindset when he says, "If at first you don't succeed, you're normal." This twist on the age old adage would've been valuable to LA native, UC Berekeley student, Kashawn Campbell. 
• Follow your attention-getter with a 4-5 sentence summary of the article in which you introduce the article both fully and formally, recognizing its title, its author, and its format,
• Finish your introductory paragraph on a thesis statement that previews your body paragraphs,
• Essentially, all thesis statements go as follows: __________ is about ________, and I agree/disagree because _________, ________, and __________. (Here, you can use as many blanks as you will write paragraphs)
• Example: Streeter's article from the LA Times proves what qualities are critical to a student's success; without a growth mindset, the luck of being born into proper circumstance, and a certain feeling of insecurity, it is difficult to succeed in highly competitive, academic arenas. 
• Each body paragraph should illustrate the P-E-E-L method and must be directly and clearly linked to the thesis statement with well written, direct topic sentences,
• Attempt to vary your syntactical structures; use the reference sheet I gave you for guidance,
• Challenge yourself to use diction that is exciting and specific and evocative, but do not try to sound like someone who isn't you. I like you and that's how I want you to sound. 

ANOTHER Sample Thesis: (I know, I know... Theses are challenging)

When Kashawn Campbell began studying at UC Berkeley, he was at a disadvantage because he had what Carol Dweck calls “a fixed mindset” and academic insecurity; ultimately, he overcomes this obstacle by seeking support from his friends, teachers, and a mental health professional.

**Primary Goals of the Assignment**

1.     To read and understand a college-level text and explain what we learned in our writing,

2.     To create a thesis-driven, multi-paragraph essay,

3.     To use evidence to support a single but complex thought,

4.     To practice the writing process,

5.     To revise an essay using comments from peers, tutors, and an instructor,

6.     To write something you’re proud of! J

Grading:

25% of the grade will be derived from mechanics.

·       Is it readable? Is it easy to understand? Do you use the correct vocabulary? Are you using proper grammar? Did you edit and proofread?

25% of the grade will be concerned with comprehension.

·       Did you understand what you read? Did you pull appropriate support from the article(s)? Did you seem to grasp the larger picture issues discussed? Did you understand the prompt?

25% of the grade will assess structure and organization.

·       Do your topic sentences link to your thesis? Do your transition inside paragraphs and in between paragraphs? Do your paragraphs illustrate coherence and unity (see TPR if you do not remember what these words mean.)

25% of the grade will evaluate critical thinking and creativity.

·       Are you generating unique thoughts or parroting what we discussed in class? Do you take your thinking to the next level? Are you probing the text with interested in depth questions? Are you developing enough commentary to best complement your evidence?